Brainfarts

Good morning

2012-02-11T04:48:00.001-08:00

I awoke at 7am and am sitting out on the deck of the 15th floor in Bellaire. It's so beautiful and quiet, all you hear is the wind. I'm admiring the sunrise and I had two dudes come and stay with me, I'm sure they assumed that I had food but they were just relaxing with me watching the sunrise.

Right now is one of those moments where everything feels perfect.

How to be happy and get better? (or how I stopped loving fat?) .

2012-01-25T04:30:00.000-08:00

...my brain is weird

Honestly, somedays I think, "Wow, I have gone nowhere."

I spend my time trying to see my REAL body. Looking at others looking at different photos saying "boy, I look skinny here, I look fat here" but how do I see my REAL body. I worry all the time that I'm bigger than I think (which I know I am) but it's so hard to see the real you.

Everything with my body is apparently an optical illusion in my eyes. I know it's so silly.

I looked at this photo today. I know I was the biggest I've ever been but I cannot personally tell if I'm different because I feel like everything is a trick! I don't want to look this bad. It's heartbreaking. Part of me is so glad that I am barely in Kristen's professional photos but other parts of me are sad that I'm not.

You can't even see my entire body but holy crap. My arms look so huge and my boobs are like something you'd see on a 400 pound woman. I don't see this as even remotely attractive. This is why I don't "flaunt" it. I find them unattractive.

Oh I shouldn't have looked at that photo but maybe I should have. It's another motivation to push forward. But it's so depressing. I remember trying "hard" to work out before this wedding and there are NO results clearly. I can't let myself slip into a slump of no exercise or poor eating. This is just unbelievable.

I hate working hard and having no outside feedback? I can tell my mother goes "so how much weight have you lost, how many inches" and I just tell her that I don't care about that number. I want to work hard and feel better. I don't want to put myself down by measuring and weighing myself. I know sometimes it's how it works for some people but for me it isn't how it's ever worked. I just give up when I look at numbers. I see "oh great, 3 pounds gone? That's it?!" and it makes me depressed.

I've gone the longest I've ever gone on a fitness kick in my life. 8 months worth. I don't plan on turning back either. Yes I didn't loose a retarded amount of weight or slim down an insane amount but I've mentally changed my mindset oh so much and I'm so much stronger and happier with myself. I love my body at every stage I feel sometimes.

Anyway. Sook sook sook wine wine wine. I feel like I need to leave you with a better impression in your head of my body so here's another picture that's maybe better?

This was Christmas, my face is ugly as sin but I feel like I look pretty good body wise.

Max cardio plyo

2012-01-24T12:15:00.001-08:00

I gave up. Oh my god. I only got 30minutes out of my 52 minute workout. I just died. My heart was racing so hard I had to stop. It was by far the craziest thing I've done.

Squat pushups
Pogo squats
level 3 workouts (16 pushups, 16 run outs, burpie, repeat)

And non stop moving.

I felt like the biggest fatty sitting on my floor watching people work out

Shaun T wasn't even breathing enough

My body is shaking too much to continue. I'll try again tomorrow.

Ouuuucccch. :(

"I'm killing you, I just love killing you"

2012-01-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

I'm not kidding Shaun T said that. I'm killing you.

Started Max Interval circuit today and it was awesome and insane (duh) This is week 5 of the program. I know I'm screwed up day wise but I'll work it out. I sweat so much. Seriously, I have never sweat this much.

Two things that KILLED me in this work out was

Suicide Side Jumps

So you start standing as if you're going to do a regular Burpie but jump out to the side. These KILLED my abs. OH MY GOD! I could not do even half the amount they were doing. My arms feel PRETTY damn good though. I seriously didn't think my body could jump out like that. It just felt like I was breaking dancing SO POORLY!

Plank Punches

So HOLY CRAP! I can imagine these get easier as you get lighter but support my entire body weight on my toes and one arm is insane. My arms are burning like crazy but it feels great. Seriously, If you've never done this before, try it. It's really crazy. Easy if you cheat and put your bum up, but so hard if you stay in regular plank position.

My favorite work out from this one was definitely the Ski Abs/Push-up Jacks/In-out abs/Oblique push-ups

Yes this is one exercise; we have done these exercises individually in the past but not as a set.

Ski Abs – Get into a plank position, then step both feet out to your right, hop back into a plank position, hop out to your left.

Push-up Jacks – We also have done these in other Insanity videos- Get in a plank position. When you go down to do a push-up hop your legs apart, then come back up.

In-out abs – From the plank position use your core to hop inwards (knees to chest)

Oblique push-ups – Also from the plank position, bring your left knee to your left arm, and then bring your right knee to your right arm.

I've gone from 0% in pushups to i'd say 20% pushups which I'm REALLY proud of even if it's pathetic I can tell I'm stronger.

UNTIL TOMORROW!

Life

2012-01-19T06:11:00.000-08:00

NO EXCUSES!
JUST DO IT!
PUSH PUSH PUSH.

Oh my god it's incredible how much power your brain can have over you to tell you not to do something. ugh..

"I'm not trying to hurt you, just trying to make you better"

2012-01-13T11:49:00.001-08:00

Oh man, Shaun T you KILL me!

What a great sentence.

I followed the suggested mantra today of "NO EXCUSES" and as silly as it is it totally worked. I repeated it over and over every time I didn't want to do it. Guess who got through not one but TWO workouts today?

THIS DESTROYED CHICK.

I am so tired. So pooped but so proud of myself. Pushing pushing and saying over and over "NO EXCUSES"

Motivation

2012-01-13T03:49:00.000-08:00

Oh guys,
I suck. I suck HARD.

I've managed another week with only working out once. I PROMISE! I PROMISE I will be full at it next week. I don't know what happened. I had horrible depression earlier this week and was feeling miserable.

I need to get excited again and looking forward to it.

I've had great results and today I definitely miss it. I just need to make it stick.

Push me? Help me!

I'm BAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCK

2012-01-09T12:14:00.000-08:00

After a STUPID break over Christmas I'm back at INSANITY. Yes I realize I won't be able to complete it now that I'm going to Disney in 29 days but that's okay! I'm still going to let it kick my butt as long as possible and just continue again when I get back. So I did Plyometric Circuit today and BOY I was so surprised after a week and half break I still got it and I got it GOOD!

I kicked ass in the 9 minute warm up. Only stopped once for a drink. I really thought that I'd be right back to where I started but boy that was not the case. I smashed the warm up and I'm way better at the stretching. The biggest piece of advice I can give you with Insanity is that you WILL get better at all of it. Even the stretching. I know it's funny but the hardest part of this workout to me is stretching. My balance and flexibility is fairly average and the stretches in this program are fairly advanced. Every day I'm becoming better at the stretches and can hold things longer. Give it patience and it'll work.

I'm beaming and am so happy I got back at it today. It really shows how much strength I have gained over the 2.5 weeks of INSANITY I did prior too. My strength is amazing.

YAY!

Pure cardio and cardio abs!!

2011-12-18T17:13:00.001-08:00

Holeeey fuck man. Yup! Today was an AWESOME workout! I feel great!!

I've done pure cardio before and boy could I ever see a difference in my strength and endurance today!! Big time.

I've got my fit test tomorrow and I can wait to see if I have any significant increases!!

Cardio and Resistance #3? I think

2011-12-16T12:49:00.001-08:00

So I'm starting to get tired. My knees are oh so sore and I didn't do well this workout. Tomorrow will be insane but I'll push as hard as I can.

Pure cardio #2

2011-12-14T16:25:00.001-08:00

"don't compromise form for safety"

It's so interesting that Shawn t yells at us to say "please stop if you're doing it wrong, don't do it half assed"

Because of this I work hard in little spurts and stop for a second. I'm getting obsessed with the fact that I am not doing exactly what they're doing on the TV. I'm not going as hard as I was last week because I think most of my pain was doing some of the exercises wrong. I was doing it as much as I could instead of stopping and coming back stronger. I also didn't wait long enough after eating before working out and couldn't go as hard cause I was still full!

Pushing through the want to give up.

2011-12-14T14:21:00.001-08:00

I started waiting to do my workout later in the day and its stupid because I have to force myself. When I do it earlier I am dedicated.

Ugh. I don't want to work out tonight but I HAVE to!!

Plyometric cardio circuit #2

2011-12-11T10:52:00.001-08:00

Well I skipped yesterday and took it as my rest day because I was so busy. So I did day 6 today.

Second time around was so much harder. So so so much harder. Just like Kim said she did. I burst into uncontrollable tears. I was so tired and pushing as hard as I could and still couldn't get there. With each day I sweat more and more. I think thats a good think. I always thought the more you sweat the healthier you are.

I'm in for a long week this week I'm sure as I'll be doing 7 days straight. All I'm going to do is keep waiting for the cardio recovery. Just look forward to cardio recovery.

This blog is going to be filled with unattractive photos of me I am sure of it.

Oh how magical angles are

2011-12-10T14:11:00.001-08:00

Took this photo last night. Holy hell I look skinny. I am not this skinny. However I am fighting to look that good!

Guilt

2011-12-10T05:13:00.001-08:00

So this is incredible. This is the first time in my life I've felt so guilty. I was so good this week, I ate really healthy and worked out so hard. Last night I drank a whole lot of light beer and ate McDonald's.

Then today, I have a lunch date at Montana's at 1pm, I think I'll be good and get just a grilled chicken breast, veggies and a salad. However tonight I am drinking again and eating junk again.

Wow. This is crazy how miserable I feel. I think tonight I'll drink vodka with crystal light. That cuts down on my calories big time. We're having homemade nachos with tons of veggies and chicken. I'll avoid eating too much. But it's another Christmas party. I'm sure with tons of goat cheese, chocolate and more. Oh man, It really is going to be difficult to do this over Christmas.

Uh oh

2011-12-09T19:34:00.001-08:00

Here's Tracey drunkenly admitting to the world that she drank beer and ate McDonald's tonight. Shawn T don't hate me!

Pure Cardio #1

2011-12-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

WOW!
I swear I have never sweat this much in my life. WOW WOW WOW!

We did 9 minutes straight of cardio, 30 second break, full body Stretch , 15 minutes straight cardio, 30 second break, full body stretch.

WOW WOW WOW!

If I had to say how I did I'd say I did about 80% as hard as the people on the video did. Who are sexy body builders. I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm not kidding my calves are AWESOME you cannot pinch them at all! everything is so hard. My whole body feels great! I cannot wait to continue this! :)

Pure Cardio

2011-12-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

Here we go folks, this is going to be a hard one...

Cardio Recovery #1

2011-12-08T11:53:00.001-08:00

Wow did I ever need this today! Today was all about stretching out every inch of our bodies to prepare for the hell that is tomorrow "pure cardio." apparently there is 15minutes straight of hard cardio!

We "stretched" but I'm still out of breath and sweaty. Many long lunges and squats. Crazy tabletop positions and boy did I ever NOT find my core. It must be buried under all this flab! I have no balance. Shawn T kept saying "just find your core" to help us balance. Nope! No dice. Didn't stay very straight on one foot.

I'm sure it's something I'll get use to! For sure.

Tonight I'm working with Aarona graphic design friend on a gift for him. I'm super excited as its going to be hilarious. I'm so thankful I have talented friends to help me along.

Cardio Power and Resistance #1

2011-12-07T16:47:00.001-08:00

Okay sooooo this one in theory was easier then yesterday but I did not get far with it. Honestly I had a whole lot of on the floor panting moments. I felt like throwing up during the warm up. I was so sore but fought through it. I feel like I did get a very good work out even if I wasn't going as hard as I was yesterday.

I learned two kinds of push ups that I can do!!!! I am so happy! One was called V push ups and the other was while I was on my toes with my knees pulled in. My arms feel great. During the workout they did a set of regular push up but I just did the toe ones. Cause I'm not strong enough for regular push ups.

All was good, hope to be a little less sore. I feel everything tightening up which is awesome!

Waiting.

2011-12-07T15:05:00.001-08:00

When you were a kid did you ever just see your mom cry? I never got it as a kid but I really get it as a adult.

This may sound horrible but I've just been working and waiting so long for someone to do something nice for me and it hasn't happened. I'm the first one to give something, to offer a hand or fix your iPhone or computer or burn you a season of big bang. This list goes on but I enjoy it. I love doing it but I do follow the rule of "do onto others as you would do onto your self."

I crashed today.

I worked all day, came home and worked out, got my lesson plan ready, left for tutoring, tutored, picked up milk, started supper, fixed our garland while tending to supper and my house is a mess. It's a disaster. I've promised far to many people my time for things and I can't do it.

I'm working my ass off doing three different jobs to pay off debt and I just want someone to tell me I'm doing a good job. Or for someone to take me out to lunch, or let me not make supper, send me a card, burn me a movie, make me something, give me flowers.

I just want anything for me. I keep giving and I anticipate something back and it doesn't happen.

I'm sure it's just my body whacked out and tired from today.

I know how my mother felt when she was doing one hundred things at once

Plyometric cardio circuit #1

2011-12-06T13:17:00.001-08:00

So first off, I need a heart rate monitor. Really bad but I cannot justify $60 for it. It's so expensive :(

Also when I say "we" it just feels right because there are like 11 people doing it with Shawn T.

So we did our regular "warm up" which was one set of each:

Jog - no problems here
Jumping Jacks – great, had to make sure my hands touched above my head though as he says it's important
Heisman’s – The only part that was enjoyable. These are essential jumping from your right leg to your left leg
123 – These are Heisman’s with 3 steps between
Butt Kicks – Shawn T says to kick your butt the entire time. Not a CHANCE not even any of the body builders doing it in the video do it!
High Knees –
Mummy Kicks – these are hilarious because of the title. Essentially you are crossing your feet on front of you and your arms.

Once we did our first rep we did 9 continuous minutes of the warm up exercise. Let me tell you my heart was racing! I was certainly warmed up and tired. Once we finished that we got our 30second break.

Stretched for 5 minutes and like boy! These are not regular "lift your arms above your head" stretches! These were like "I cannot stay balanced or breathing" stretches. I used to find when I did Zumba that the stretch was harder then the workout. This isn't the case here but it was hard core.

-30 second water break.

Now we get Into what Shawn calls our suicide training! GREAT! Just what I've always wanted. Three full sets of this:

Suicide drills
Power squats
Mountain climbers
Ski Down

After each set we got a 30 second water break. Honestly once we got to the third set I was so dead and ready to vomit. Looked at the screen....18minutes left?!? Are you kidding me??

We moved onto Basketball Drills. Honestly this whole set can go fuck themselves is all I'm saying.

We started with Basketball Drills which is essentially like you're going for a 3 pointer. You bend down pick up the ball and throw. First set I was all on, Second set I did 5 fast then 4 second break. 5 fast, 4 second break and so on. My third set I was GONE but tried so hard as this exercise was the easiest in the whole set.

After that we did Level 1 Drills. FUCK EM!

Jump up, jump out, 4 pushups, run for 8 seconds in push up mode.

Here's my honest truth. I couldn't jump up and down while doing these and I couldnt do the pushups. I essentially put all my weight on my arms and pushed down as far as I could. I could do the running.

Ski drills were next. They sounded GREAT and easy. Nope! While in a plank position you jump from the side to the middle to the side. I did as many as I could in the 1.5 minutes we had but I certainly was not doing it the same speed as everyone else.

In and outs! Hilarious! If you ever want a exercise to make you feel fat it's this one. While in a plank position you jump your legs forward to a frog position and then back into a plank position. Yeah, honestly. I did maybe 25% of these. It KILLED!

So we did three sets of all of those, yeah seriously? Ouch!!

At this point I'm thinking "hellz ya!! I am DONE!!" we get a water break and oh no no no there is STILL more!

We do one set of

Jabs
Cross Jacks
Upper cuts
Attacks

And I'm DONE! Holy crap it was a ride but I'm so glad I did it! I'm so sad that I have to do it again on Saturday but I'll be stronger by then!

This picture is exactly how I felt after this workout. Dead tired.

Tomorrow is Cardio Power and Resistance. I'll update tomorrow with how my body feels. It's going to be bad I can tell. Thank god I have a prescription for Anaprox! Yeehaw!

Tuesday Morning

2011-12-06T04:20:00.000-08:00

Alright so my back is KILLING! I think it's because of two things. When I was stretching at the end and was doing side lunges I came up afterwards when he came to the center and slowly came up. I stupidly did this for both of my side lung stretches.

Secondly when I was doing my plank I could tell my back wasn't as straight as it should have been. I wish I had Shawn T to step on my ass to get it down.

I'm looking forward to today's work out just not looking forward to how sore I will be tomorrow. Today I am doing Plyometric Cardio Circuit. It's said to be the hardest workout with all the set up. Honestly, I read it and in the entire 40 minutes you have a 3 minute cool down at the end and 3 30second water breaks. OI VEY!

Fit Test #1

2011-12-05T11:47:00.000-08:00

As promised by the DVD's that "all you need is enough space for a pool of sweat." this is exactly the case! I certainly sweat it out and feel GREAT! Worst part was that this wasn't even the full workout. It was just the fitness test. As you can prob tell my fitness results got worse as it went on. I was so tired by the end

Also, I was only given 1 minute per exercise

Switch Kicks (2 kicks = 1 rep) - 48 reps

Power Jacks - 37

Power knees - 67

Power Jumps - 30

Globe jumps (4 jumps = 1 Rep) - 7

Suicide Jumps (aka burpies) - 9 (so sad)

Push up Jacks - 13 fake ones (can yet do a real pushup)

Low Plank Oblique - 35

So I do this test every two weeks. By the end of it I had lost my sneakers (my feet were so sweaty they slipped off)

I feel great and look forward to tomorrow holy crap it's going to be insane but I just need to remember to just go as best and as hard as I can. No tears today! I'm sure I will have them tomorrow

I may be insane but oh the INSANITY!

2011-12-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

Okay,

So I know this isn't a "brain farts" blog anymore. I joke because I keep having more and more of them so I'll have to include those. My main purpose of this blog is to tell everyone that today is Day ONE of my INSANITY training. I'm going to try my hardest or as my Dale Carnegie Trainer says "TRY?!?"

I -AM- going to do the INSANITY program.

I've been trying since May to get weight off and I've not been very successful. I'm strong and very fit underneath all this but I'm ready to have my ass kicked. I heard about it and from looking at all the sucess stories I really feel like this is for me.

So this is my new trainer, he's hot as anything and F.I.T. Today I start the FIT Test and will post my results here. Honestly, this is for me and if anyone else manages to read it, cool. I just want to talk about how it's going.

So what started my fitness crave was after this wedding.

I saw the photos and just about barfed. I was the biggest I've ever been. Just blown away. I came back and said alright, it's over. I hired a personal trainer in May and have been with him ever since. I worked hard, I did other work outs on the side and I thought I was going somewhere. Then in September I had another wedding and really did feel like I had lost weight and was looking better. Then last week I saw another photo and said "HOLY CRAP!" I have so much further to go! I'll post that photo when I get it later.

This is myself now from my Christmas Party 7 months later and really in my mind, very little progress. You can see some but please keep in mine I'm wearing tights and shapewear. I was wearing NOTHING under that dress in Dominican.

So either way, here we go. I'll post tonight with my first thoughts and results from the fit test. I'm scared but looking at all the wonderful people that have completed this program and their results it just motivates me to GO GO GO

Guilty Pleasure

2011-10-31T05:49:00.000-07:00

I secretly have to admit that I LOVE when I take photos of an event and lots of picture change their profile pictures to the photos I've taken.

I'm lame but SO into it.

How to conquer anxiety and worry Tracey 2.0

2011-10-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that I've found something to help me calm when I get anxious. It's taken me forever to find this but I have....

#1) I grab my golden book and read the quote "Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more"

#2) I breathe and say, it's okay.

#3) I sing Ingrid Michaelson's song "keep breathing" it relaxes me and reminds me how silly I am.

"The storm is coming but i don't mind.

People are dying, i close my blinds.

All that i know is i'm breathing now.

I want to change the world...instead i sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that i know is i'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that i know is i'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

It's incredible how perfectly normal this is. How this song reminds me how little I have to worry and how small this all is. I've listened to this song more then anything else on my iphone. If you're someone with anxiety just close your eyes and invest into the words and boy does it make a difference.

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah

2011-04-25T04:51:00.000-07:00

I always try my best to stay positive. You know it never works.

I'm a very happy person! But sometimes I just need that high. I just need that one thing to carry me on the day. Once again going back to the Dale Carnage course I realise how important enthusiasm is. Enthusiasm is so contagious. I love being it! I love being happy! Because most times everyone else responds properly with it.

One thing that drives me crazy about Aaron is that sometimes he responds to my enthusiasm with a "yes" in a low toned voice. Sort of sarcastic like. It bothers me. But then I understand that it's hard to be 100% enthusiastic all the time towards everything I'm excited about. I still yell at him all the time about it though. Cause it's an instant negative. Nothing worse then expressing enthusiasm and then having someone shoot it down right away. To me when I act like that sometimes it is a cry for someone to cheer me up and when it's not responded to positively it puts me in a worse mood.

If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind.

Stiff upper lip! Stout Fella, Carry on old fluff!

2011-04-13T04:01:00.000-07:00

Long time no see, I know, I know.

I'm just the worst sometimes and that's that.

So here's the up and up...

since I last complained about my job. I still have my job and it's 110% better then the last time I wrote that journal! I realised that I need to stop making it as work intensive as the bank, cause it's not the bank! I'm appreciating that it's fairly low effort and a fun job. I get to visit people and talk, whats wrong with that?!

I'm doing the Dale Carnage Course and I've met some fun people in it. I'm enjoying going and it makes me feel like maybe I should attend group therapy because of how good I feel when I leave. There is something about getting up and talking about yourself and having people listen that makes you feel oh so good. I'm gonna go ahead and say that if I tried to enroll because I wanted to talk about myself they'd turn me away.

I'm not conceded! It's just like the rush you feel when you meet a new person. You have so many great stories about yourself you want to tell them and you want to hear all the stories they have to share! Ages ago I had a goal to find someone that didn't hear the joke "Why was six afraid of seven?" This was because it's SUCH a funny and smart joke but EVERYONE knows the punchline. Do you know how awesome it felt when I met someone that didn't know it? I got to be the first person to share that joke with them and it was like happy fuel pumped inside of me! That's the way I feel about my awesome stories. When I meet someone it's like I'm so excited I can pull out that file marked "Awesome stories you tell everyone."

It's nice, because this course forces you to meet new people both in the class and outside. I mean I meet new people everyday but never anyone that gets to know ME. They know Tracey from Executive Coffee. So I'm a fan of it, I'm glad I'm not paying for it as it's super expensive. But I am happy that I am attending the course!! It's great! I totally recommend anyone that gets the opportunity to do it, to do it!!

So that's all the time I have to right now, but I'll post again! Things are starting to look up!

Tune in.

So uncomfortable

2011-01-31T04:11:00.000-08:00

So outside my comfort zone.

Why did I take this job. I'm forcing myself with every grain of my body to push and push and push this. Trying to make myself feel comfortable but I am not at all. I don't feel like it's something I should be doing.

I'm told "This is PERFECT for me" but I don't feel that way at all. I wake up every morning feeling scared to death and upset.

I've screwed up my EI and I screwed up taking this.

Oh my, I am not looking for someone to push me up. My family company deserves someone that is 100% excited and dedicated to doing this. Someone that can perform what they need performed. I know they may see that in me but I really feel like I cannot suffer through the pain of it.

How is it?

2011-01-21T19:21:00.001-08:00

That when everything is turning up Tracey, everything else I know turns upside down.

- Aarons sister suffering from extreme depression. In and out of hospital.
- Aarons father still very sick from the radiation and chemo.
- My fathers best friend dying in hospital and dad is so depressed
- My brother going through extreme depression, causing so much stress on our family. Beating himself up over the worst girl possible.
- My mother depressed because my brother is taking everything out on her.

Now because I am dealing with this tonight Aaron decides he's pissed because I spent time with this. He decides to just go to sleep.

So here I am.
Bawling my eyes out at 11:55pm on a Friday night while he is sound asleep and has no interest in makin sure I am okay.

Why can't anything ever work out perfectly.
Never the case...

Soup and a pancake?

2011-01-18T12:57:00.000-08:00

SO!

I don't do "food blogs" but I figure I might as well!

I'm a huge fan of roasted red pepper soup but I find I can normally only get it in restaurants and it's never always "in season." It's 100% my fave soup. So I started buying the gardennay brand soup "Fire roasted red pepper and black bean" it's wicked awesome but it's $3.99 and it only feeds 1 1/2 of a person really.

So as I was telling my cousin Kristie about how awesome this soup was she told me about a recipe her

girlfriend had made for a SPICY roasted red pepper and sweet potato

soup. I was PUMPED! I love sweet potato and the word spicy jumped right out!

Aaron loves anything and everything that has a kick to it. So Kristie emailed me the recipe, see here KUDOS to Tracey Rowe

1 can of spicy red pepper stewed tomatoes ( I couldn't believe these existed and I never knew!)
1 can of regular tomatoes
3 sweet potatoes
2 red peppers
box of chicken broth or veggie broth..doesnt matter
2 cloves of garlic
basil, thyme
balsamic vinegar

-Strain whole tomatoes into soup pot and place the whole tomatoes on to a pan. Line pan with tin foil for easy clean up.
-Place spicy stewed tomatoes in soup pot.
-Cut peppers into chucks and place on pan with tomatoes.
-sprinkle balsamic vinegar over peppers and tomatoes and place on top rack on broil
-cook until it starts to blacken. dont worry if you think it is burned..that is ok
-put tomatoes in pot and peel black off peppers- easy to do if you sweat the peppers first. Place ----peppers in plastic bag for about 15 minutes. then you can easily peel black shit off.
-Place peppers in pot. add about half a box of broth
-Peel sweet potatoes and boil untill very soft and then drain and add to soup pot.
-add garlic and spicys.
-Use the hand blender in pot to puree it. Add more broth if too thick or too spicy.

Worlds largest sweet potato! Holy Moly!

Peppers and tomatoes ready for the oven

-->My first piece of advice is maybe not to cut the red peppers in "chunks" as much. I ended up cutting each pepper into pieces of I'd say 8 and it took me way to long to peel off the skin on each separate piece.

--> Secondly I also found that I didn't find the soup very spicy with just the spicy tomatoes so I kinda went nuts with pepper and chili flakes. I ended up making a soup that was FAR too spicy on it's own (will know for next time!) but we ate it with some buttered whole wheat bread and were able to consume the soup and not have our tongues numb.

-->thirdly invest in a "hand BLENDER" I only had a full blender and a hand mixer. I choose to use the hand mixer and after 10-15minutes of blending it hard, it was pureed. I've been told you can pick up a hand blender for $20 at WalMart

Overall I really enjoyed the soup! I am also excited that I have enough for lunches for the next week!

No recorded BRAIN FARTS lately, they've passed silently but have been present. I assure you. I'm getting back on this blog train and will document them.

And so our story begins....

2011-01-04T15:42:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2011!

You are welcomed, just not yet. I'm so ill and it's a stupid New Years Eve Flu! Once this flu goes away I'll be happy it's 2011! I promise.

I've decided this evening I am starting this year off right. I've decided it's a year I'm dedicating to control. I want to control all things Tracey. Something I have never had time to do. I've always let everything go on autopilot and I want to get out of that.

I've decided that I have started firstly to start eating healthy and eating healthy my way. I'm exploring different options and different foods. I'm very excited. I'm going to go to the gym in the day time, I'm going to control my hours of the day. I'm not going to just let them slip away. I'm going to see the doctor, I'm going to get everything done that I have been pushing aside because of time.

Control = Time!

I'm going to update my resume, I'm going to look for jobs or potentially even look into programs. I'm going to do what I want.

The world is mine and I'm going to mold it the way I want.

Unemployed and Scared to death.

2010-12-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

So here's my latest news. I no longer work at Scotiabank.

I was "dismissed" because I couldn't pass my god damn Mutual Fund exam.
THREE TIMES, I studied for 6 months, paid $450 and was always no more then 5 marks away from a pass.

57% 56% 55%

I have to be honest and really say, I wasn't happy. I was in a stage of life where not having a job scared the hell out of me and I wasn't brave enough to look elsewhere. So now here I am. I secretly think this is really what I wanted. I just wanted to have some form of notice instead of a "effective right now" moment.

I've learned that banks are soulless! Completely. I know, I'm sure everyone already agrees. Firstly they dismissed me 2 weeks before Christmas and a week before I was scheduled to get my $2200 bonus. YES and that was based on my awesome performance. So bonus is gone. Then they call the next day to tell me that they have to close my two visa's because they are "staff" and exempt to fees. I asked if they could just make them fee based and they said no. Now, it's completly fine and I have credit and everything outside of Scotiabank. But REALLY then they said "You could just come in and apply again" I'm not going to lie I said "I HAVE NO JOB."
so 100% would not approve for any credit! Oh my.

Merry Christmas Right?

So I've applied for EI and once I get my ROE I hopefully can go ahead and get that started. But I will be looking for work come January. My father is continuing to say "Take some time off" but I won't be able to. I am already scared of not working. Everyday for the passed 3 years I've pretty much been saying "How can I not work and still get paid?" and here I am, hopefully doing it. I certainly didn't think I'd be this bummed out about it.

On to the positive news!

I believe in dreams! If you can dream it you can do it! I know this is true and will 100% be the case for me.

It's 11 days until Christmas and I'm sitting here watching Muppet Christmas Carol. It's 100% one of the best Christmas Movies in the world.

There magic in the air this evening
Magic in the air
The world is at her best, you know
When people love and care
The promise of excitement is one the night will keep
After all, there's only one more sleep til Christmas

The world has got a smile today
The world has got a glow
There's no such thing as strangers when
A stranger says hello
And everyone is family, we're having so much fun
After all, there's only one more sleep til Christmas

Tis the season to be jolly and joyous
With a burst of pleasure, we feel it all right
It's the season when the saints can employ us
To spread the news about peace and to keep love alive

There's something in the wind today
That's good for everyone
Yes, faith is in our hearts today
We're shining like the sun
And everyone can feel it, the feeling's running deep
After all, there's only one more sleep til Christmas
After all, there's only one more sleep til Christmas day

I am thankful for everything else in my life! I am so lucky to have all Christmas off now and can finally enjoy it like I did when I was young. A blessing in disguise. Honestly.

Brainfarting a storm

2010-11-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

So just an update on my most recent brain fart. I guess it's not that bad of one but seeing how I was working when I said it made me look pretty silly.

BRAIN FART

So I was sitting in the lunch room with all of our staff, YES, all the staff and we have the finance channel on (yup, is that what it's called?) and on the bottom they were running through stock prices. So I was watching and it was going through the "s" part and I yelled "Do they seriously not have Scotiabank shares? Why wouldn't they show the scotiabank shares?" and everyone looked at me and said "You didn't say that right?"

Of course our shares are called BNS not Scotiabank.
oh my.

I swear I'm a good Personal Banker.

Yes by! I was right!

2010-10-26T11:36:00.000-07:00

ANNND I was completely right! (kudos to sam for the response cause that's the exact issue!)

Quoted from CBC:

"St. John's recycling program is one week old and already there are complaints of people swiping bottles and cans from recycling bags, according to one city councillor.

Coun. Debbie Hanlon described the garbage pickers as "worse than gulls", referring to the seagulls that rip open bags of trash during garbage collection days.

The garbage bandits are taking the items that are worth cash and leaving behind a big mess when they dump the rest, Hanlon said at Monday's council meeting,

City officials said they are looking for ways to prevent people from rifling through recycling bags before the problem gets out of control."

BOOOM SHAKAKALAKA! I knew it! I knew it would become an issue!

A cart full of bottles?

2010-10-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Lets blog now, I've got a thought.

So thankfully now we are starting curbside recycling. I really love this idea, I'm so glad because most of our garbage is actually paper so by doing this it really limits our garbage AND half of it will be recycled. But here's my thought...

You know all those people that push around carts and collect recyclables, I mean they dig through garbage because each one of those cans they find is worth 3 or 5 cents. I mean it's something that I would assume is exciting when you find. So how do these people feel that there are literally like $7.00 bags sitting in front of someones house? I can't figure out if I would be bothered or not bothered if they were to take my bag of recyclables. I mean, clearly I would bring them to the depot if I wanted the change. So why would I be bothered by them taking them? But at the same time, if they were to take my whole streets worth of recyclables that could be like $50 bucks! $50 just for walking around for 10 minutes. The bottles will all still go to the same place so whats the issue?

I mean, once something is put on your curb it's not yours anymore.But this really is something that bothers me but doesn't bother me. Does that make any sense? I feel like it shouldn't be that easy for those people to get that money. But at the same time they need it more then we do, the product is there on the curb.

I don't know, but this is one of the first thoughts that came to mind, like will this become an issue? people complaining that the cart guys are taking their curbside recycling? Will the people doing that be carrying regular garbage bags to dump the clear blue ones into so that the recycling depot knows they didn't take them?

Am I insane to be even thinking about this?

Good Grief Tracey Brown

2010-06-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

Only you Tracey Brown, ONLY YOU!

I cannot believe what just happened to me.

So I went to the solarium on my lunch break and I come out the three girls I went to high school are sitting in the couches. So I'm talking away like everything is fine. These girls were the "popular" girls in high school. I'm all like ahh who cares we're older now and everything is normal. So all of sudden on the girls comes over and stands next to me and pulls down my dress. MY DRESS WAS TUCKED INTO MY TIGHTS! I could not believe it. I was so embarrassed. I totally played it off and was like "Ya? You like my butt?" and she was like "I couldn't let you go back to work like that! Though you may have made more sales."

TRACEY BROWN! My god, can I do anything without making a fool out of myself! I was so embarrassed. Of course I'm the kind of person that told EVERYONE in the office when I got in because it's hilarious. But I just wish it didn't happen to me.

The most hilarious part about this is that when I got dressed today I accidentally ripped a big hole in my tights in the butt. Luckily when I was getting dressed really quickly when I was coming out I put my tights on back wards so the hole was in the front. THANK THE LORD! When I came into the office the first thing I did was run in the bathroom to look at my butt to make sure there was no hole in my tights. All I needed was the "popular" girls that I went to High School with telling everyone how they all saw my butt and that I HAD HUGE HOLES IN MY TIGHTS!

Oh my god.

Good Grief.

See the forest for the trees.

2010-06-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

So this isn’t going to be a happy blog entry. It may be at the end I’m not sure of it yet. I just need to talk about something that I cannot stop thinking about. This past Sunday there was an accident where a car was clocked at 147 and then hit a light pole. All three of the passengers died, a 35 year old man, 17 year old girl and an 18 year old boy. Aaron keeps getting frustrated at me because I can’t stop thinking about it or talking about it. I just keep positioning these scenarios in my head. Like what if that was a case of those Toyota cars speeding ahead really quick? How about if those kids were friends with that 35 year old and both of there parents disagreed with it because he was so old. What was he doing hanging out with those kids? Then I thought what if that was one of there dads? The poor mother having her husband, child and child’s significant other die in a car crash! My heart just starts aching at how quickly these things could happen. Everyone at PWC is grieving for the loss of two students, friends? Family? How one simple accident affects so many people.

Then I starting thinking about what could have happened in that car. If that 35 year old was speeding out of control and that couple in the backseat were yelling to get him to stop. How scared they must have felt. Then I make myself cry thinking about if I was in that backseat and how scared I would feel. I know it’s not normal for someone to think this much about something like this. I’m driving my brain crazy. Then I start thinking about how easy this could happen to someone close to me and how heart broken I would be. I’m 100% driving myself crazy about it. I look at the carnage of that vehicle and I wonder how bad they must have looked getting pulled out of the car. I feel for the poor cops/ambulance workers that had to see the remains of those poor kids.

I’m sorry, I’m not morbid or anything just when these things happen I always put myself in these situations. It’s a bad idea because it just makes me depressed and worried. If I was more than half crazy I’m sure I’d become a crazy paranoid mother that only lets her daughter on the lawn until she’s 18. Or believes nowhere is safe in the dark. I hate hearing people at my work tell me “Tracey I hope you don’t have kids because I’d hate for you to bring them into a world like this one.” I don’t understand that comment. My parents grew up in the 60’s/70’s so many things have IMPROVED. Things that went on then would NEVER go on now. I also don’t understand what they are specifically talking about when they say “world like this one” what events are they talking about? What things have happened now that are far worse then before? I mean 2010 now as well…

Well either way I can’t shake this silly thought process about those poor kids in the car. Please, please, please don’t do anything unsafe ever. Also don’t sweat the small stuff. For real, I need to learn to follow that rule. I think about that poor mother getting a call saying her daughter had passed and how there was no hope for anything. Just one solid answer. Not even a “but.” I cannot imagine how difficult that is to hear, nor how difficult it is to deliver. OH MY HEART

Annnnnnndd now you’re depressed!
SORRY!

BUT LOOK AT THE CUTE BUNNY!

2010-06-04T11:36:00.001-07:00

YO! Do you read this? Let me know.

Shrek Glasses more like Death Glasses amirite?

2010-06-03T11:46:00.000-07:00

Okay so beef of the day....

I saw a guy running and smoking at the same time. Not like running to get across the road. Running in running sneakers with a dry fit outfit on. A runner.

Can I please ask WHY on earth you would care enough about your health to run but not enough to keep your lungs healthy? To me that seems so superficial. That you really only care about how you look not how you feel or how healthy you are? Ok yes, I'm not saying that people the exercise cannot be smokers because that's not what I mean. But to be that much of a smoker that you CANNOT RUN without a cigarette in your mouth is so gross. I mean when you run the main thing you need is STRONG LUNGS.

It's been a while coming but I've just become so negative towards smokers. For a while there I put up with it. I had a close friend that smoked and I didn't mind being around her when it happened. We've moved on from eachother and we moved out of our houses so I'm hardly ever around smoking! NOTE: my parents didn't smoke, Aaron's did.

I just hate the fact that if you smoke...you WILL die from cancer. WHY oh WHY would you be interested in doing anything like that to yourself. Oh I don't want to get into how silly I think it is. I know far to many people that have had cancer to ever respect the desire to smoke cigarettes.

-NOTE: sorry if you smoke and I just made you angry.

Hey so FYI McDonald's is going to be recalling all of it's Shrek glasses because of Cadmium in the paint! The CPSC noted in its recall notice that "long-term exposure to cadmium can cause adverse health effects," AP said.
Cadmium is a known carcinogen that research shows also can cause bone softening and severe kidney problems. I spent a good sold 4 days using one of these cups! I loved them and totally was about to go get one. That's totally scary. They've sold over 12 million of them!

Swing Low Sweet Chariot

2010-06-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

What an awesome day.

I’m awesome, for real. I really am awesome. I just jumped up and down in the middle of the bank to celebrate!

I just had my first 1 on 1 call test thing that I have every two weeks. It’s supposed to be the hardest one and what it is, is just a complete fake interview for a mortgage with a “client.” Fern, my adviser said “well Tracey, because it’s your first 1 on 1 call I will give you the option to do this in two calls which most people try to do as it can get confusing and difficult.” I totally went ahead and did the WHOLE call and was AWESOME. I could hear her smiling on the phone. She was so impressed. I’m so happy she sent me my evaluation and her summary was “Overall Tracey has a great skill set. She sounds confident, knowledgeable and professional. I encourage her to continue building on her skill sets. Good job on her first one on one role play”

I have to admit, I would have never guessed I’d be working in finance. I really wouldn’t have. I remember when I was in high school laughing when people would ask me “What are you doing in university” and I’d say “I’m getting a degree in Math and history.” Because those are were my WORST subjects. I’ve found that when I am learning anything related to my job it’s completely different. I constantly have my manager and my adviser tell me I’m “going to be fantastic” at this job. Its GREAT motivation and I really can start to see how I’m getting good at this job!

FINANCE!

Man…it’s so great to see how my life is completely different from what I thought it was going to be.

I love the path I’m following! I really cannot tell you how happy I am to have a job and how thankful I am to be in a stable job.

Aside from my talking about my job what else is new? We were in Gander this past weekend with our 35+ friends playing board games. We stayed out for a full weekend and I’d say we played at least 12 different board games. I love doing it and I love having friends that are just as passionate about it as myself and Aaron. It’s hard when you have different groups of friends and they all do different things. It seems like everyone is starting to get back into board games so that makes me really excited. Now when I mean board games I mean REAL board games. Not like “Life” or “Monopoly.” I mean games that take at least 45 minutes to figure out how to play them and then another 2 hours to play the game. The more complicated the better!

My update today was really to share the awesome news of how happy I am! Things are going great in our little house…other than I REALLY need to learn how to do laundry. I suck so hard at it. I can wash, I can dry and I can put clothes away but never all three on the same day! I try and try and try and I ALWAYS end up with a huge mountain of laundry. “Stink mountain” is what I’ve dubbed it. Not to say our clothes stink or anything. Okay maybe Aaron's do, but mine smell like heaven. I’m starting to get pretty excited for the next few weeks. This weekend I have Dave’s Birthday weekend. The Keg and awesome times spent with great friends. I also that Saturday have Kristie’s wedding shower which I’m looking forward to. But more importantly the weekend after that I have Kristie’s stagette! The last Stagette I was at…was memorable. I’m hoping for the same for this one. I just love having nights where I think “oh who cares…lets just have fun.” Which means Tracey spends $100 dollars and can’t find it in the morning nor know where it went. Some of you might remember the hilarity of the morning after Sam’s stagette where I found a Lebanese bill in my bra! I’m afraid to show my “I drank for 14 hours face and found this in the morning.” but it's so worth it because it's super hilarious.

There was NO explanation to this nor does ANYONE KNOW how it happened. Oh stagettes Aaron says it's fine for me to enjoy this stagette as long as it doesn't involve birds. Yup the last one was the first and last time a stripper is hired. MOST AWKWARD THING EVER. I have photos and videos that are never going on the internet. But let me tell you...if you ever want to see them I'll show you. You will never forget them, they will be burned into your memory.

Also to make up for the ugliness of the prior picture I will post how pretty I looked BEFORE the hours and hours of partying. That way when you leave my blog you think "god! I don't remember her posting a disgusting photo at all!"

MOST RECENT BRAIN FART:

So today my boss told us a story that happened to his son yesterday. He has just moved into a new condo in Toronto and it's number 523 on the 5th floor. So he had been there twice moving in the new things and when he went back the third time his key wouldn't work. He was there for a good solid 5 minutes trying and trying. The neighbour across the way came out to ask what was going on and he was so frustraited about the key. So he calls his lawyer, realestate agent and the company that owns the building freaking out that someone had come in a replaced the locks. So he leaves and comes back a few hours later and goes upstairs and the key works perfectly. Turns out he was in THE WRONG BUILDING. It looked completely the same and the same number and everything.

Smackberry, Celebrity Gossip and Board Games.

2010-05-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

Oh blackberry woes.

Why oh why was I given a blackberry I’ll never know. It really is a “crackberry.” I’m enjoying having access to everything in the world on my cell phone but it’s cutting back on my computer time! I get on my computer after using my phone and realise…I’ve checked twitter, facebook AND my email. What do I do? Then more and more Celebrity Gossip sites arrive on my plate. Oh my goodness. Here are my two faves which I frequent more and more. Normally I just scroll over the pages but now I click on links and READ. NSFWwww.wwtdd.com and www.thesuperficial.com NSFW. Please, I have to tell you. This is so entertaining. It’s just filled with shots of celebrity “wardrobe malfunctions” and hilarious photos that you wouldn’t see anywhere else.

Let me tell you a thing or two. I don’t enjoy celebrity news. I’ll tell anyone that. However knowing what is going on is cool too. These websites are always the first to post celebrity deaths as well as celebrity FAILS! I can’t believe that Brittney Murphy’s Husband just died. That’s nuts.

So this blog thing is sucking lately. I’ll always come up with things to write about when I’m not at the computer and I completely forget about what I want to write about by the time I get to the computer! WHAT A SENTENCE!

So my car died AGAIN for the third time. Right from the beginning I said “Is the thing that starts the engine! I know that’s what is broken!” I of course do not have any knowledge in car repair and what was broken after three times being fixed? THE STARTING MOTOR! See! I’m so smart people need to give me more credit. So 600 later I have a new wheel bearing/battery/removed oxygen sensor/new fan belt and a new starting motor. Now, I have to tell you though, the guys that fixed my car are like the gods among repair men. They hardly ever charge me for work done and they always get awesome deals on parts. They also twice have driven to where my car was and fixed it there instead of getting it towed to their place. It really pays to have a dad that would rather do “favours” for people instead of being paid. It really is the way to go.

We’re going to Gander this weekend to hang out with our lawyer friends this weekend. We plan on just playing games ALL weekend. How awesome does this sound? They are big board game nerds like me and Aaron so I’m really excited for it. I have no idea how old they are and I really don’t care. I’d say they are in their late 30’s and we relate to them more then most people I know. I’m going to cry when my friends start retiring and I figure out I still have 15 years until I can do it.

Please cross everything you can cross.

2010-05-17T05:40:00.001-07:00

There are TWELVE gates twelve gates into the city. TWELVE GATES...tweeelllvvee gates!

My concert went really well. I was really depressed so I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it through it. Turns out I did okay other than one slip up. We were singing "To where you are" and I just broke down in tears. I know most people find that song uplifting but this weekend it did nothing but remind me of whats going on. The lyric "As my heart holds you, just one beat away" I just lost it. My family didn't notice apparently which is just great but I was bawling my eyes out.

Maybe people just assumed when I sing I look like I'm crying.

Dave is not doing well. Let me give you a run down if you're not aware who David is. Dave is my best friend Mike's little brother. He's 18. On Friday morning he had a heart attack. Now David had a heart transplant at the age of 8. He frequents the Toronto "sick kids" program and has many appointments throughout the year. We're really not sure how this happened. At around 3pm I left work to be with Mike's family in the hospital. Everyone was scared but nobody was actively upset. Simply because we didn't have answers at that time. I think there was around 11 of us at the hospital.

For the first few hours everyone was sort of taking turns going in to see him and the consensus was that he was pretty lucid but very agitated because he couldn't get comfortable and was having trouble breathing. His blood pressure was very low but his heart rate was very high. They had ordered in a medication from Toronto and we were waiting on this to stabilize him. I still don't know what the medication was for really. All I know is that it was needed. At this point everyone figured that they were going to send him back up to Toronto as this is where most of his care was completed and they were more familiar with David's body and his background. The doctors had said that they were pretty sure David's heart was rejecting from his body.

At around 6:30 the doctors called David's parents in to the quiet room. They said they had to get him on a medivac to Halifax to put him on a heart and lung machine. Simply because St John's doesn't have one (HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! It must be because of his size?) The Doctors told us that it was quiet possible that he could die. That he was in very serious condition. This is when our laughing and positive attitudes went out the window. It was really hard. I stayed as strong as I could. Rubbing Mike's back and giving him as much support as I could.

So they told us that the medivac team was getting together and they were getting a plane in from Gander. Mike's father and his wife(cathy2) went ahead and booked flights to Halifax for 6am the next morning. We were not sure if Cathy(mikes mom) would be able to go on the plane with David but she really wanted to. She didn't want him to have to go by himself but as the doctors said, they don't really like taking parents on those planes simply because of how small they are. If anything were to happen, they really don't need a flailing mother screaming in a plane while they're trying to operate.

After more tears and waiting they told us David would be on a plane by quarter to 8. Mike's grandmother left and got on a plane that was leaving at 8:30 in hopes that she would get to Halifax just as they were arriving on the medivac. We said our goodbyes and left to go back to Mike's house. At this point it was just myself and Mike. Steve (mikes brother) and two of his friends. When we arrived at Mike's the first thing I saw was David's little tux on the couch. Saturday was his grade 12 graduation. I know it's not important that he wasn't there but I know that he was thinking about it. It was so sad to see it.

I stayed at Mike's until around 12am and then went home. David and Cathy had not left St John's yet. Apparently as they loaded David onto the plane the oil pressure or oil gage or something wasn't working. So they couldn't fly out. They brought Dave and Cathy back to the hospital and they stayed over night and left for Halifax around 9am.

At this point I was worried because it was about 11am on Saturday and I had not heard any more information from Mike as to what had changed or even if they had arrived in Halifax. So I called Mike and woke him up. He told me some good news but mostly bad. They had arrived in Halifax safe and sound (thank the lord!) and they had installed the heart and lung machine into David's body. This was a very risky surgery. The bad news was that he had gone into cardiac arrest and there was brain damage. They're 100% unsure of how bad the brain damage is but if it's too much, they will not be able to get him another heart.

This is all of the information I had so far. We're pulling for him and wishing and hoping everything goes well. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Protect your butt!

2010-05-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

So I’m having trouble getting in the mindset that the bank is slow. The bank does things on the banks time. I’m so preoccupied with getting what the customer wants done and cutting corners to do that. You cannot cut corners at the bank! You can’t cut anything at the bank (seriously, I can’t find scissors anywhere!) I also have to learn that we are selling a product and if you can’t meet the requirements to get this product then, c’est le vie! I’m so used to doing EVERYTHING for a customer and I have this feeling like most of my customers are on this little string and if they have to do too much they will just go away. We have a whole lot of things that we require to approve customers for products and I need to understand that the bank does not take risks. We have to verify EVERYTHING.

Lately I’ve been filled with anxiety. I can’t quite place what and why it’s happening but I’m in a bad funk. I have been feeling like I’m scared. How to I explain this, have you ever seen something bad happen and your spine tightens up and you can feel all your nerves spasming in your arms. I don’t know if that makes sense, can your nerves spasm?

So on Wednesday I spent the evening with Mike Lockman, Samantha Carroll and Kristen O’Rourke. I can’t believe how ridiculous we are in real life when the four of us are together. I swear I laughed for the full 5 or 6 hours we spent together. We bought an ice cream cake and were waiting to see what we could write on the cake. We wanted something funny and came up with “WE CAN’T WAIT TO MEAT YOUR BABY.” Meat is spelt that way because Mike ate the M off of the cake immediately. So the cake stated “We can’t wait to eat your baby.” We were standing there laughing so hard and then It was just like when we were 17 again. Sam is married with a baby on the way(less than a month!)! I’m in a career now! Yet we are still 5 years old inside!

We even went back and reread funny things that we did in 2004 and we were in the fits laughing at how funny we were then. I’m so glad our humour has not changed! Holy Moly!

Anyway, here’s my entry about nothing. I’m sorry I’m so lame lately.

Best Place to Work!

2010-05-04T12:00:00.001-07:00

Fatty Cakes, Fatty Cakes bakers man!
Oh man, McHappy Day is tomorrow.

You know what that means! I get a BIG MAC! YEEHAW!
I can't tell you how excited I am about a Big Mac.
Also you should all buy McDonald's tomorrow simply because NL is getting a Ronald McDonald House and $1 from big mac/happymeals/breakfast sandwiches are going towards it!

Scotiabank is constantly listed as on of the top best places to work and now I know why! My boss is buying me a Big Mac! This is the trick!

Does it really smell like summer?

2010-05-03T11:46:00.000-07:00

Today I was really excited because my father picked me up for lunch and the car just smelt like summer! How does summer have a smell? I guess it's really just specific smells that only come about during the summer. Like the smell of the sun hitting off the leather inside the car, a BBQ or fresh cut grass. I hate the last one, normally if I smell fresh cut grass it means run inside.

My allergies are just the worst when it comes to fresh cut grass. I remember last summer there were times that I'd drive with the window opened and all of a sudden my throat would swell up and my lips would get itchy! I actually can't confirm if that's why my throat would swell up but I'm pretty sure that's what it was. The fresh grass I mean. "Fresh cut grass" what a weird statement. I guess it's because I read it as like "the grass has just grown and it's been cut" but really it means, it's been freshly cut, like recently cut.

Isn't it funny that we only look forward to two opposite "seasons" of the year. I actually don't know if "we" is true but I know that I only look forward to Christmas and Summer. I felt really messed up yesterday because I've been looking forward to Summer for so long now but I ended up watching a Christmas episode of Cake Boss and then I felt so weird. I don't want to know anything about Christmas because summer is coming! Don't remind me it exists because then I'll get excited! I'm like a child, don't tell me that Dad's coming home in a week because every hour I'll ask if he's home yet.

What sort of smells remind you of summer? Get specific! I don't want any of the normal junk. Here's mine:

-squat dog berries
-mouldy leaves
-microwaved saran wrap

RECENT BRAIN FART
So I was out to Cora's recently for breakfast and for the first time in a dogs age I figured I'd get something that wasn't the 1990's harvest. So I ended up ordering the fruit plate, it's like 11.99 and it comes with a big thing of cheese and toast as well. So I'm so focused on what I'm ordering and then she says "What kind of cheese would you like" and I respond with "Whole Wheat." I can't tell you how long the girls laughed for. Poor Sarah had tears in her eyes. I didn't even notice that I had asked for Whole Wheat cheese. I just assumed her next question was what kind of bread I wanted.

Baby Fever!

2010-04-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

Nothing says love like sexually assaulting a blind chick!

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/newfoundland-labrador/story/2010/04/28/saunders-verdict-assault-428.html
Wow, so a guy I went to junior high/high school was just charged with sexual assault! Awesome! The guy was the worst kind of guy in high school. I remember he used to go over to the junior high school and beat up the kids for no reason. I mean who does that! It’s horrible to say but I know a whole lot of people that were VERY happy that this happened to him. I worry how these things develop in a human.

Something I have to say:

I love pregnant bellies. I love em. Oh my god how on earth has it only been now that I’ve got to enjoy being around a pregnant woman for a long period of time? My girlfriend Sam is super pregnant (well not super pregnant, she has 1.5months left and I’m assuming she won’t get much bigger.) I spent all Wednesday evening poking and rubbing her belly. Feeling Connor move his little body and trying to visualise how he was positioned in her belly. I’m afraid when I get pregnant that my poor child will be yelling at me from the womb to stop waking it up by poking at it. Gently, gently poking.

Sorry I sort of didn’t write for three days but I’ve been so busy at work! It’s awesome and not awesome at the same time. I come home after work and I am supposed to be studying for more bank courses and my brain is just wracked with information that I end up just doing nothing.

Okay! Now here’s the part where I need you to help me out. Aaron is convinced that “garlic fingers” is an Atlantic Canada dish. Can anyone confirm this? He has sent me to a few websites to verify that it’s the case. When you google it, it really says that it’s an Atlantic Canada thing. But it can’t be! McCain sells “garlic fingers” all across Canada. I’m assuming it’s just the term “garlic fingers” because I know I’ve had garlic bread in the US. If this is true, it blows my mind! Kind of like when you find out you can’t get All Dressed chips outside of Canada or Coffee Crisp bars OR smarties! Imagine a world without smarties. It’s very funny because the US does have a treat called “smarties” but they are actually rockets! It’s so weird.

RECENT BRAIN FART
So lately I’ve been doing really well! I swear! I have to tell you though, I still suffer from many brain farts but I really try not to announce them as they just make me look silly and they are not funny enough to say outloud. This is why the internet has helped me so much. When someone says something I don’t understand I generally just pretend I do understand it and google it later. Have you noticed every blog I’ve written has “google” in it? I should be getting paid for this! So today I’ve decided to just write something funny that someone said at work yesterday.

“what movie should I see? Are there any good ones in the theatre?”
“uhh just pull up the site, yeah date night looks good”
“yeah? How about Clash of the Titans?”
“oh, don’t see Clash of the Titans, that’s a football movie”

I actually over heard this conversation in the bank and I laughed so loud in my office that I felt really rude. They didn’t figure out that I was laughing at them nor did they realise that it wasn’t a football movie.

I get it! You're alive!

2010-04-27T08:52:00.001-07:00

Okay,
So let me complain about something, I’m so sorry if you are one of these people. It’s a pet peeve not a trait I cannot deal with. Scratch that, I really have a hard time dealing with it. Also before I start talking about it I only know one person out of all of my friends that does this and they will 100% not be reading this journal.

Nose Breathers.

Not people that breathe through their nose, because EVERYONE does that, but people that breathe LOUDLY through their nose. I mean, today I was with someone that was doing it and while I was sitting there I was looking to see maybe if it could be cured, like maybe this person wasn’t opening there mouths enough to let air out. I sort of was hoping that was the case so I could rescue said person and say “HEY! All you have to do is open your mouth and then you won’t make the noise!” It wasn’t the case. Her mouth was wide opened. Is it a deviated septum? I mean you can get surgery to fix that but do you have other problems because of the deviated septum? Why would someone actively say “geez, I sure do breathe loudly and It may bother some people, why don’t I get some surgery to fix it!”

I am so self conscious of me doing this that sometimes I have difficultly breathing because I’m focusing on it so much. How hilarious is that? It bothers me so much that I lose my ability to do a involuntary body function. I am not a loud breather but when I hear loud breathers I start worrying that I sound like them.

For real, is there anything more annoying then being in a quiet place and hearing someone breathing through their nose! Oh lord I’m getting annoyed by talking about it. Also please! If I know you and you’re thinking “Oh god, I’ve never noticed it! Do I do this?” you don’t. Simply because it annoys me so much that there is no way I wouldn’t notice that you do it.

I mean, maybe there are severe cases! Perhaps people suffer from extra loud nose breathing! Can your septum be so deviated that you are just the loudest nose breather? If that’s the case I DO NOT want to see a movie with you.

Seriously.

Last thing I want to talk about. It’s bulk garbage day/week in Mount Pearl and I’m nosey and love looking at what people are throwing out when we drive. There are 4, YES I SAID 4, floor model TV’s being thrown out on Ashford drive in 2010. You know what I mean when I say floor model right? Not like a brand new TV that was bought right off the floor of a store, a TV that was built to go on your floor. HOW ON EARTH are there people still using these TV’s. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone has to have brand new flat screen HDTVs. My family has plenty of 10+ year TV’s in the house. But some of these TV’s were clearly built in the 1960s. If they are still using these TV’s, do they even support regular cable anymore? Even more importantly THEY ARE HUGE! Why would you keep something like that in your house if it doesn’t work! I mean I understand keeping things around for a while before you throw it out but these TV’s were gone in the 90’s!

Oh technology! I mean, I think we got our first DVD player in 1997. You wouldn’t be able to hook that thing up to one of those TV’s AND that was 13 years ago!

Alright, rant over. Give me your opinions on both of these topics please and thank you.

RECENT BRAIN FART:
I’ve been successful this weekend and managed to avoid all brain fart moments. However I am willing to bet the people I saw this weekend would disagree. Though! I do have a funny drunk moment that makes me laugh so hard.

Avril (girlfriend) had her 25th birthday this weekend and was PRETTY drunk. Shane O’Connell (friend) came into the party and everyone was talking to him. He has a younger brother (Aiden) who looks nothing like him. Avril turned around and say “AIDEN YOU CAME” and hugged him. After talking to him and us all laughing she didn’t correct herself. She also didn't address the fact that it wasn't him and continued, from our perspective, thinking it was Aiden.

Primerica

2010-04-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

For real?

How does this company work? I just had someone try to talk me into working for them. The words "people don't know how our business works" was said. Please note: I would never consider working for them but I had a client tell me I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing and I should be with them.

That doesn't sound like something I'd want to represent. I always thought they were selling things and being shady? Can anyone explain Primerica to me? Don't you have to buy something? I really didn't understand how the business works because it sounds so shady. I thought they sold insurance? How does that help someone get out of debt?

Okay, apparently they market to people who already have insurance and try to convince them to cancel their policy and buy a term policy from them. Then take the difference and invest in mutual funds. The idea being that in the end, that the person will have more money then the cash values in the insurance and would not need the coverage because they would be so rich.

What the what?

Oh my, I just don't understand some of these business, which to me is a big red flag. If you can't understand what they are doing, someone is screwing you over at some point during your business with them.

Please give me your thoughts/experiences with Primerica and what they do!

Where no one has gone before!

2010-04-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

So I’ve started drinking coffee. It’s new, I’ve tried many times to start drinking it and I end up with headaches and my heart runs the Boston marathon for most of the day. This is an issue clearly and I should not drink coffee because of this right?

Well, I’ve decided to try it again and so far so good. I don’t need naps in the run of a day when I have a cup of coffee in the morning, I mean that’s good right? My heart still races though. I’m not sure why because I can drink energy drinks and that doesn’t make my heart race (I have to tell you this, I’m typing this up and it told me I should change doesn’t into don’t. So I’d be saying “I can drink energy drinks and that don’t make my heart race." Apparently I have downloaded a Newfie grammar check?) I’m thinking it has to do with Caffeine Vs Taurine. I googled “Taurine” and found it’s derived from the word Taurus meaning bull. Do you think that’s why Red Bull is called Red Bull? I bet it is.

I also decided yesterday to buy some new bras yesterday because every last bra I own has the wire exploding out of it. I’ve been wearing them forever and just pushing the wire back inside. I’m not that poor, I promise. I just hate buying new ones. So the day before yesterday it got to the point where BOTH of the wires were coming out the middle and I got home and changed and I cut my face while I was changing (please don’t ask me how I did this because I have no idea.) So last night I was like “I’ll just go to Wal-Mart” and I can’t tell you how pathetic and awesome I am. But the bras I’ve been wearing I’ve had for like…4 years. Wal-Mart apparently still sells the exact same one I bought 4 years ago. I was so excited and just bought three more of the exact same bra. This is how exciting I am and yes, I’m still in a 6 year long relationship. Hahaha

Tip: Don’t purchase food at Yuk Yuk’s, it is Yuk Yuk.

Speaking of how awesome I am, guess what is waiting for me at the post office right now? Every season and every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I also just realized that I used a photo yesterday of TNG. I’m not that big of a nerd, I promise. Wow, I’ve made two promises this post too! Make sure I keep them! I can’t tell you how excited I am to have TNG marathons in my house. I told Aaron that we should make Star Trek inspired food but I don’t know if that would go over well. YUCK!

Okay, so I promise this blog will get better and be full of funny things and you’ll be begging me to write every day!

RECENT BRAIN FART:
We were out to dinner last night at Yuk Yuk’s and our waitress was over speaking to us about our meals. Aaron was so focused on lying about the food that when she asked us if we were staying for the show he said “YES, we are staying for the show” and when she left I looked at him and said “ Why did you say that?” He had no idea and we had to come up with an awesome lie to get out of it. We ended up telling her that we had won tickets (which we did) and that I thought they were in my purse but we had to go home and get them. We of course didn’t come back after that. We’re horrible people but the moment we came out of the club we high fived each other.

A BLOG!

2010-04-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

So I’ve completely decided on calling this “Brain Farts” simply because it’s something I suffer from. It’s a rough disease, with no cure or cause!

I’ve have really realised how this has not yet become natural to me. I’ve blogged before and have been full of ideas. As of right now, I’m a little blank. For somebody that always has something to say that seems pretty weird. But for now I will talk about where I am right now.

I’ve started my new job at the bank. I’ve been here now 2 months and I have to admit, it’s really different and difficult. Coming from many work places where the main focus is the relationship between coworkers, it really makes this hard to adjust to. I’m starting to learn that maybe a co worker with a particular skill set is more valuable than somebody I can lean on (thanks Alanna!) But I have to tell you, I’ve had three or four days here so far where I really just needed someone to talk to and I was really stuck. I’m the youngest person by about 25 years. So finding someone that can relate to me here is really difficult. I’m not saying I cannot come and talk to someone 25 years older than me, I just mean, I don’t need them to see me as “that young girl.”

I’m sure I could just be over thinking it but the days I come in here having the worst day, I really miss EB. I worked with Chris every day (who was still 20 years older than me!) and I could come in with just a funny face on and he’d respond with “what’s wrong boobie?” Keep in mind; he didn’t call me boobie because I have boobs. He was just silly and it was a weird nickname. I always felt like he genuinely cared about me. I really feel like I’m just a fixture here. I’m hope that will change as time goes on, I mean some of these girls have been working together for 30+ years and really show no emotion towards eachother! I really just feel weird coming to work, doing my work and than coming home. I mean, even at lunch times we don’t really talk. They all watch soap operas as I think about how exciting it would be to watch grass grow. I always stay in the lunch room in hopes of getting those commercial breaks to talk for a few minutes. Wow, does this ever sound depressing!

I still am not sure if this is what I want to do with my life. Everyone says “Oh! So great! You can retire from the bank!” and when I think about it. It scares me to death; the thought that I could be doing the EXACT same thing for that long is just upsetting. But I guess that’s just how it works.

Anyway, enough about work. Today is officially Earth Day! What are you doing today to help your earth? I was confused, because I thought “Earth Hour” was part of Earth Day, I guess I was wrong. Lately I’ve been reusing my plastic bags that I bring my lunch in and have been trying to use less toilet paper, we all know how much woman use toilet paper. Aaron’s mother is convinced that if you have a teenaged girl in your house you will go through a roll of toilet paper in a week. That freaks me out. What makes a teenager use more toilet paper over a “young adult” like myself? I just googled “Toilet paper use” and found a guy that analysed how much toilet paper he used in a year. 49 rolls, There is 52 weeks in a year so that’s almost right! But that was just with him in his apartment. I really don’t think me and Aaron go through a whole roll in a week. Do we? How on earth did I segway into talking about toilet paper usage. I am far too interested in this now. How much toilet paper do you use in a run of a week? Do you use a whole roll? Have you ever even thought about that?

So I’ve also decided that I’m going to post my recent brain farts at the end of every blog (assuming I am having them, WHICH I WILL!)

RECENT BRAIN FART:

I was in Payless last week and they had signs up everywhere “BOGO SALE, Buy one get ½ off” so as I was shopping around I thought to myself, do I only need to purchase “bogo brand” shoes? I looked around and ended up just forgetting about it. I’ve learned not to ask questions about things that I’m confused about until I REALLY think about it. So I decided to just forget it and leave Payless. This week as I was driving home I saw a sign at Dairy Queen saying “BOGO Blizzard 25cents” it was then I had realised that BOGO means “buy one get one.” I kid you not, I was alone in my car and I yelled “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH MY GOD! THAT’S WHAT THAT MEANS” and laughed hysterically at myself.

A Working Title?

2010-03-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

Working title.
Is this now my blog's name?

How on earth does one name something like this.
I just spent a good 30minutes trying and trying to come up with something and nothing.